10 Ways to Show People They Matter and Why It’s Important
Most of us spend our entire lives seeking approval and love from people around us like our parents, family, friends or colleagues. I’ve always taught people to look for that love from the inside first in the form of self-love. That way, you have a high enough self-worth that you don’t need to look for love or approval outside of yourself. But, that doesn’t take away the fact that we all want to feel loved, and that who we are, what we say, and what we do in live matters and is valued by others.
I’m sure you’ve heard stories of family members who lose a loved one and then regret that they never really told that person how much they appreciated or loved them. Life moves quickly, and it’s easy to overlook how much of an impact you can have on someone else’s life with just a kind word. So, whether you’re a parent or a boss or a spouse or a sibling or a friend, remember how important it is to show the people in your life that they matter to you.
Here are 10 ways to do that:
1. Say “Thank You”
Think about a time when you did something nice for someone and he or she never even acknowledged it with any thanks. How did that make you feel? Whether it’s the waiter handing you your dinner check or your partner folding your laundry, remember your manners, say “thank you” and mean it. Don’t overlook the power of those two words and how they recognize a person’s actions.
2. Focus on the Positive
It’s often easiest to point out what your loved ones or employees do wrong rather than what they do right. Next time you’re about to criticize someone in your life, stop and think of something good you can say about that person instead. Tough love should always be balanced with positive feedback. Both kids and adults need reassurance that they’re doing something right in their life.
3. Give Gifts
Think of a reason to give someone a gift outside of a birthday, anniversary or holiday. Or perhaps, have no reason at all! A gift could be a poem, a present, a meal, a compliment, an outing or anything special you do for another. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to give someone a gift. It could simply be the gift of time or listening.
4. Show Appreciation
Get into the habit of telling people what you love or appreciate about them. Don’t wait until you’re doing their eulogy at their funeral to say good things about them. Say it when it counts the most — in the moment, when they can hear you.
5. Be a Hugger
A hug or a shoulder rub can be all a person needs to feel like they’re appreciated. Touch creates a physical, emotional and spiritual connection that is critical at all stages of life from infanthood to adulthood.
6. Make Eye Contact
Nothing feels worse than someone who can’t look you in the eyes when they’re talking to you. It makes you feel uncomfortable, unwanted and unimportant. Eye contact shows people that their presence, thoughts and words are valuable to you.
7. Brag in Public
Famous or not, everyone makes a contribution in this world. If there’s someone in your life whom you feel should be recognized, do something public about it. It could simply be a toast during a small dinner gathering or a speech at a big party. What’s important is the intent to recognize someone in front of others.
8. Be Present
Nothing says “you don’t matter” more than picking up a call or texting while you’re with someone else. It’s like being on a date while your date checks out all the other candidates walking by! Be present with the people. Turn off your cell phone. If you absolutely have to take a call, apologize, explain why and make it quick. It’s just good old plain manners!
9. Keep Your Promises
We’ve all got undependable friends. They’re the ones who frequently cancel plans or can’t commit until the last minute forcing you to hold your schedule hostage. If that’s your M.O., the message you’re sending to your friends is that their life and plans are not valuable, but yours are.
10. Treat People Equally
We are all part of the human race and deserve to be recognized equally. Famous or not, black or white, male or female, kid or adult, everyone should be equally valued as a human being. Everyone’s life is special and deserves to be loved and valued.
Here’s the final bonus tip. You could skip all of the above ten points and live your life by one principle – The Golden Rule. Think about how you want to be treated and treat everyone else the same way!